Friends, I aim to connect people with other people because:
- connections offer a learning opportunity.
- connections can be a starting point for a friendship, for a new role, for an opportunity for business or for collaboration.
- connections help bind us together in an increasingly divisive world.
So when I put two people together with good intent, I am sometimes flummoxed by the behaviour that I see.
Often, one person has the greater need for a role or other opportunity. And this person with the need is the person who I find acts most disrespectfully.
How? By going into the first conversation with a judgmental and transactional lens of “how will this person get me to my eg next role”.
And after the initial conversation, the response I get back is “oh, he couldn’t really help me, he doesn’t have any open opportunities”.
Friends! Stop abusing the privilege of connections. When you are connected with someone you don’t know, here is the etiquette for how to go about it:
R.E.A.C.H.
- Relate to the other person with the mindset of building a long-term relationship.
- Explore their interests, passions, and goals by asking open-ended questions.
- Avoid talking in detail about yourself or your needs in the first conversation.
- Connect on common points and show genuine interest and investment in the connection.
- Have a positive and engaging conversation that makes them want to talk to you again.
Go into the conversation with the aim to LISTEN. Ask more questions. Interject with your own insights. And be genuine about this.
The most important thing you can do for the first session, and the most RESPECTFUL is to seek to understand the human being in front of you.
Do not see them as a recruiter/donor/sponsor/bank account from whom you need to extract something. This is what a user looks like.
If you are behaving like this, please cease and desist. It’s disrespectful.
#manners #connections
