Over my life, many people have commented on my propensity to ask brave, even audacious questions of people – no matter their rank or background.
In the workplace, these manifests are fearless questions, usually asked of leaders. Now I know that any question I ask is something that would be on people’s minds – although they would not have the courage to ask that particular question themself.
Outside of work, my questions stem from general curiosity about the human condition. I can hold a deep and meaningful conversation with a complete stranger because I am curious.
My starting points for my questions:
1️⃣ I always assume POSITIVE INTENT and TRUST on the part of others. This means that people are always going to take the question in the spirit with which it was intended – and that they will respond in a polite, kind, considerate and respectful manner. And that they won’t take offence. Of course, it goes without saying that I aim to be respectful myself. People have not let me down.
2️⃣ I am a terminally curious person. I don’t ask questions to embarrass, humiliate or disrespect others. I also try not to ask questions that put people at unease. My curiosity is underpinned by my SINCERITY, and AUTHENTICITY – and people have an inbuilt radar for this. They sense that I am asking a question because I am genuinely interested in learning. This then means they aren’t put off by my questions.
In my experience, people have ALWAYS brought their best selves to our conversations – even if I ask tough questions. So I am hugely APPRECIATIVE that people trust my intentions and motives.
Of course, on the odd occasion one or two people have been put off by my questions.
On reflection, it occurred to me that they were uncomfortable because they didn’t want to think about what I had just asked them. The questions were anodyne enough – but their reactions told me that they hadn’t dealt with the complexity of the emotions behind the simple question. This was on them, not on me.
So friends – if you are someone who has met me in real life and I looked at you with my huge cow eyes and asked you a question with a child-like curiosity, THANK YOU so much for indulging my curiosity.
In the workplace, these manifests are fearless questions, usually asked of leaders. Now I know that any question I ask is something that would be on people’s minds – although they would not have the courage to ask that particular question themself.
Outside of work, my questions stem from general curiosity about the human condition. I can hold a deep and meaningful conversation with a complete stranger because I am curious.
My starting points for my questions:
1️⃣ I always assume POSITIVE INTENT and TRUST on the part of others. This means that people are always going to take the question in the spirit with which it was intended – and that they will respond in a polite, kind, considerate and respectful manner. And that they won’t take offence. Of course, it goes without saying that I aim to be respectful myself. People have not let me down.
2️⃣ I am a terminally curious person. I don’t ask questions to embarrass, humiliate or disrespect others. I also try not to ask questions that put people at unease. My curiosity is underpinned by my SINCERITY, and AUTHENTICITY – and people have an inbuilt radar for this. They sense that I am asking a question because I am genuinely interested in learning. This then means they aren’t put off by my questions.
In my experience, people have ALWAYS brought their best selves to our conversations – even if I ask tough questions. So I am hugely APPRECIATIVE that people trust my intentions and motives.
Of course, on the odd occasion one or two people have been put off by my questions.
On reflection, it occurred to me that they were uncomfortable because they didn’t want to think about what I had just asked them. The questions were anodyne enough – but their reactions told me that they hadn’t dealt with the complexity of the emotions behind the simple question. This was on them, not on me.
So friends – if you are someone who has met me in real life and I looked at you with my huge cow eyes and asked you a question with a child-like curiosity, THANK YOU so much for indulging my curiosity.
hashtag#askbetterquestions hashtag#becurious