So let’s say someone is telling you about something awful which happened to them. And let’s say what you’re hearing is so awful that it evokes a strong reaction in you.
You might be angry on their behalf, you might be shocked, even upset. Here are three things you should NOT do.
💀 Do not start crying yourself. If you do, this means the person telling you their story now has to manage your emotions.
☠ Do not start threatening to do something about the situation – as though you are the saviour who will fly in and make things better.
👻 Do not start telling them about your own experiences around the situation.
So the next time you are a listener in an emotional conversation, learn what grace looks like. It means controlling and regulating your emotional reaction so that YOU can PROVIDE SUPPORT.
The person has had to deal with the awful situation. Don’t put it back on them to manage you as well.
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