That’s possibly one of the most important lessons I have learnt in my life.
I used to worry constantly about what I said to others or what people thought about me or whether I had upset someone. I fretted about giving people the wrong impression about myself with the things I had said or did.
Then, one day, just like that, it occurred to me that no one ever spends any time thinking about me – because they are too busy thinking of themselves. In a moment of interaction, they will respectfully listen to me and engage with me – but as soon as the conversation is over, they will stop thinking about me, and go back to focusing on themselves.
And I know this because this is exactly what I do. I mostly think about myself – what I feel and what I want to eat and what my kids are doing and what I want to buy on the weekend. And when I think about other people, it’s usually in relation to what I think about them.
So people, stop worrying about what other people are thinking. They are not thinking about you. And if a manager has a bored look on her face during your presentation, it’s not because of what you’re saying, it’s probably because a thought has occurred to her – about her lunch, or her dog or the wine she drank last night or her upcoming promotion. It’s never about you – so quit worrying.