What does grace look like in an emotional conversation?

Posted on February 7, 2024 by Shereena Hussein

So let’s say someone is telling you about something awful which happened to them. And let’s say what you’re hearing is so awful that it evokes a strong reaction in you.

You might be angry on their behalf, you might be shocked, even upset. Here are three things you should NOT do.

💀 Do not start crying yourself. If you do, this means the person telling you their story now has to manage your emotions.

☠ Do not start threatening to do something about the situation – as though you are the saviour who will fly in and make things better.

👻 Do not start telling them about your own experiences around the situation.

So the next time you are a listener in an emotional conversation, learn what grace looks like. It means controlling and regulating your emotional reaction so that YOU can PROVIDE SUPPORT.

The person has had to deal with the awful situation. Don’t put it back on them to manage you as well.

communication EmotionalIntelligence

 

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A leadership lesson from the humble chook (chicken) 🐔

Posted on February 1, 2024 by Shereena Hussein

There is a community farm and a restaurant near where I live. They have three chickens there – Hen Solo, Pecky and Joy. Now as I was walking past, one of the chooks started clucking really loudly – and it occurred to me that she had just laid an egg. 🥚🥚

And she clucked away enthusiastically and unapologetically – announcing to the world what she had done. And it delighted me because it made me think of a leadership insight. 😁 🤔

When you do something you are proud off, signal this to others. No point hiding your accomplishments – it gets your nowhere. 🤔

Be like the chicken!

#RaiseYourVisibility #leadershipmatters

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The lies we tell ourselves….

Posted on January 29, 2024 by Shereena Hussein

😀 I will start the diet tomorrow
😁 I didn’t drink that much
😃 I am a good friend/spouse/partner/parent
😆 I am a kind person
😚 I am an honest person
🤔 I treat everyone nicely
😏 I am such a good driver on the road
😙 I am a great manager
😋 I am such a productive team member

But, are you, really?

Each of the above examples has many, many ways to assess whether this is a lie we tell ourselves, or if there is an actual basis for truth.

Find out that these measures are, and then ask yourself the question again.

Maybe, you might be surprised to find that you have been lying to yourself all along.

Or maybe – like me – you won’t be surprised. 😟😱

LetsBeBetter SelfAwareness

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A fallacy to reject – there is no place for shame 😳

Posted on January 29, 2024 by Shereena Hussein

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What to do when you become a magnet for a particular problem.

Posted on January 29, 2024 by Shereena Hussein

We all have friends like this.

🙈 Every relationship they are in doesn’t work out because eg the partner cheated on them.

🙉 Or every job they have had included a manager who was eg disrespectful to them.

And these friends laugh and joke that these same problems keep following them like a bad smell.

So here is a lesson for us all. If a problem keeps following you around, it’s not because of bad luck. It’s because YOU need to learn to address this issue once and for all.

And when you do, you will find the problem magically disappears.

So, what problem keeps following you around, friend? ☠ 👻
SolveYourProblems LetsBeBetter

 

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This thing I do that I shouldn’t – and you shouldn’t either.

Posted on January 29, 2024 by Shereena Hussein

I was having coffee with two former colleagues. Colleague 1 had to leave to go to a meeting.

As soon as she left, colleague 2 piped up with a comment about colleague 1 being entitled.

And what did I say?

“Yeah, I suppose she is.” 😦 😵 😱

And in that moment, it hit me. Every now and again, when someone in a group leaves the conversation, someone else makes a comment about them.

This is what a two-faced person looks like. I don’t want to be this person. In future, I will NEVER engage in making a negative comment about someone as soon as they leave the table.

SmallThoughts LeadershipInsights

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Fallacy to reject : Money can’t buy you happiness.

Posted on January 27, 2024 by Shereena Hussein

This has to be yet another platitude crafted by a rich person to make her less wealthy friends feel ok about their lack of funds.

I’ll tell you for free that money can not only buy you happiness – it can fund:

✅ your contentment
✅your peace of mind
✅your good times
✅your good looks
✅ better quality food and access to healthcare
✅your children’s education
✅a better neighborhood to live
✅your ability to walk away from a toxic job
✅your ability to hire a lawyer
✅ the option to go do volunteer activity
✅your ability to start a company….

See, the list goes on and on.

Think of all the ways you can be happy. Now think of NOT having the cash to fund this.

Oh, if you say that walking in the sunshine does not need money, think again.

😼 That sunblock you’re using cost money.
😽 That melanoma you’re likely to get if you’re not using sunscreen will require funds.
🙀 And that health insurance you will need while you recover? Money will fund this.

Money. 🤑 💰 💲 It’s ok to admit it. It buys you all the happiness you want.

SmallThoughts

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Three simple ways to use more inclusive language…

Posted on January 27, 2024 by Shereena Hussein

…and challenge your assumptions at the same time.

💀 When meeting people for the first time, don’t ask about their ‘wife’ or ‘husband’. Ask instead about their partner/spouse.

☠ When someone is visiting their doctor and you want to know more, don’t say ‘what did he say?’. Either use ‘she’ (to demonstrate your lack of bias) or just use ‘the doc’ until you get confirmation of gender. Challenge your assumptions.

👻 If someone says they will get their EA to schedule a meeting, don’t refer to the EA as a ‘she’ until you have confirmation. Use ‘he’ if you have to – at least your listener will have his/her assumptions challenged at the same time.

SmallThoughts Inclusion Biases

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How often do you ask of yourself or of others: How can I be better?

Posted on January 27, 2024 by Shereena Hussein

You might decide to ask this question as part of your performance review, or in conversation with your partner/spouse.

It’s too general a question – and will lead to meaningless responses.

Learn to ask definitive, more action-oriented questions – for example:

❇ Tell me two ways in which I can be a better manager.

✴ What are three things I can do to be a better spouse?

💠 What is one thing I can do to be a nicer person?

You get my drift, right?

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A small thought….

Posted on January 27, 2024 by Shereena Hussein

When management leaves, a role needs to be filled.

When leadership leaves, it creates a vacuum.

The question is: WHO decides WHAT fills the vacuum?

Management SmallThoughts leadership

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